Tuesday, December 24, 2013

What 'Lies' Underneath


Do we ever ask ourselves what we are actually supporting when we indulge in something? I'd like to believe that the majority of us do, but I have to say that I feel the exact opposite. We're in a generation that has turned a blind eye to a lot of situations in favor of one's own satisfaction, particularly in sex work. My own search for answers led me to finding organizations like +AntiPornography.org Nonprofit  and +PornHarms. Seeing through the illusion the sex industry wants you to see was a true eye opener for me. It enlightened me to what it is we, as people, contribute to without realizing. The fact is there's more going on beyond what we see for ourselves. This is my motivation for this posting.

Our degree of selfishness is something I feel is more often taught than learned. We are so disconnected that we have resorted to fending for ourselves. The fact is there are too many of us here to take the "every man for himself" approach. Part of the blame is on society for how these things are. People don't realize how much power we really have to make some positive changes, but we get so blinded by our own situations to really see it. The other part of the blame is based on our government. I feel that the people who have the power to do something are the biggest cowards of all. It seems there are still those who think if they just ignore the problem that it will just go away and it seems it's become the standard. Either they are afraid to tackle the issue and risk losing voters or they are benefiting from it in some way, shape or form. Remember the sexting scandal with already married politician Anthony Weiner? He's only one of many politicians who gotten into hot water due to sexual transgressions. It only makes me wonder how deep this idea of sexuality has really rooted itself.

I can only imagine the perspective of a person involved in sex work. Thanks to our government, people have the legal right to become a sex worker. That being said, when was it decided that sex work would be good for society; a service that promotes promiscuity, infidelity as well as various forms of exploitation. What drives a person to become a porn star (prostitute), exotic dancer or facilitator (pimp, madame)? Whatever the case there's no indication of taking into account of what these actions may be contributing to other than self gratification. To the sex worker; do you really care about what you see and do? Don't you see your images being engraved into the brains of the consumer? Don't you see that the people watching the things you do on camera on average start at 11 years old? Don't you see that your "work" is problematic for almost half the families in America? Don't you see how what you do is a instructional guide used in child pornography? Are you capable of seeing anything beyond what's around you and how it's affecting our world?

I ask these questions because with all of your "self empowerment" as a sex worker I wonder if there's a sense of blissful ignorance as to what you are contributing to. I understand that things happen beyond our control. I'm well aware of the sacrifice to provide for family, but sex for money is sacrificing everything you hold dear as well as yourself. No amount of money is worth that kind of sacrifice. Your gain is someone else's loss and the ones who facilitate this sacrifice are even worse offenders. This version of sexuality is not benefiting anyone except those who stand to make profits. There are lives being affected by this option of work. I can't help, but ask how did this become an option in the first place? Pornography is legal, but with the exception of Nevada, prostitution and solicitation is illegal. How does this makes sense? Then again, we live in a country that continues to sell tobacco and alcohol which kills people everyday and where a woman gets 20 years in jail for a warning shot when actual murderers go free. It goes to show how backwards our society is. We need to realize that instead of being handed a mirage we could actually find the real oasis.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Reason I Fight


I don't know if I can see my journey as being a unique one, but needless to say it has been a very enlightening experience. One thing I can say for sure is that I grasp an understanding about things and seeing them as they are. People take many different paths with different destinations. My path and the experiences along the way have brought me here. I'm motivated by those experiences to create these posts and contribute to the fight against "the beast", better known as pornography. If you haven't already guessed by the title, this is a bit of a personal battle against a industry giant that has a firm grip around the throat of humanity. Many may agree with me and many may not. The goal of this post is to invoke some sense to look past the "fantasy" image and see things for what they are. This may not be something you want to hear, but it is very necessary to be said.

As I said, I do have a personal stake in why I have decided to create these posts. I am included in the growing statistics of people who started watching pornography at an early age. There may have been times earlier on that I saw bits and pieces of an adult film due to being around irresponsible adults, but to be exact, I saw my first adult movie at 12 - 13 years old. As far as I'm concerned, that is where it started. At that age, I only had a vague idea of what sex was and unfortunately for me it was my first of many courses in sex education. After watching these things take place I thought that was how sex really was. From watching these scenes I learned all there was to know about what people did on screen: boy-girl, girl-girl, boy-girl-girl, boy-boy-girl, double penetration, double vaginal, etc. All of this I learned by the age 13. Those images would continue to stay with me for such a long time and I became so wired to watch more of it. You also start to get a sense that this is just something guys do, but no matter what it just never felt natural to me. Something about it didn't feel right. Nevertheless, you become more desensitized to what you're looking at and coming across more extreme things wasn't much of a bother.

By the time I was 16, I didn't want to watch it anymore. I had it in my head that if I ever got tired of it I could just quit cold turkey. Little did I know it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Fast forward about 10 years, here I am today typing this post. I'm 28 years old now and it was by this time I broke the mental lock porn had on my brain. It took very painful experiences to take a really hard look from the outside in to see what it was doing to me and my relationships with my family, friends and significant other. I researched so much information about the industry and what it has done to people who were either in the industry or compulsive watchers like myself and the information was astounding. The thing is that no one wants to acknowledge this as a problem which is only causing more problems. No one can continue denying something that is affecting so many and you just might be surprised that you may be the person that has affected.

The obvious "beast" reference mentioned earlier is quite fitting for the predatory-like billion-dollar industry that thrives on the misery and low-self image of others. Those involved in the industry are always quick to defend their practices because it's protected by the constitution. While that much is true, the industry continues to show how ethically backwards the porn industry, as well as our government, really is. It seems porn is not the only backwards practice our country faces. There also seems to be such a lack of opportunities in the pursuit of financial stability. There is such a wide gap between the haves and the have-nots and I believe that contributes to the convenient option of going into "sex work". People forget the fact that our country was founded on the degradation of people for power or financial gain and it's still something that I feel has yet to change. In either sense, it all comes down to who receives the most profit from someone else's sacrifice of self. There is so much desensitization happening within that industry is very hard not to notice if you really look.

Porn poses a danger to people both mentally and physically. A specific case that caught my attention was the porn industry shutdown in late August due to HIV exposure. One of the first people infected with the virus to come forward was, now ex-porn actress, Cameron Bay. Prior to this, it was shared that she suffered a kidney infection from her first porn scene with five men. It has been previously said by other former performers, such as Vanessa Belmond and Jenna Jameson, that they would get sick quite often from performing frequent scenes. Cameron opened up about some of the things that took place while on set filming scenes which I thought was horrific. Of course, it's nothing that the porn industry wants anyone to know and it shows by the barrage of verbal attacks she received on social media by active performers as well as porn fans alike.

Fan Via Twitter
Active Performer Via Twitter

These are only slight examples of the venomous words spewed. Again, this shows the desensitization within that industry to be able to openly speak negatively about someone already going through tremendous events. This is only just scratching the surface of what the porn industry stands for. It goes out of its way to portray these false images that draw you inside their world hiding the fact that there is a much darker layer underneath it. If this has happened with Cameron then it is happening to someone else right now.

What we have with pornography is nothing more than legal prostitution. The only difference between porn and illegal prostitution is that the government gets their cut from profits made. The exact same thing can be said about the legal brothels in Nevada which I imagine would cost you a small fortune. This is just one of many blemishes on our government and any foreign government that does the same. Sex is a sacred bond between people and should not be treated as a consumer item like a towel at Wal-Mart. Yeah, it may keep our country's economy going, so to speak, but at what cost? Just considering sex for payment will only further damage the sanctity of sex and that goes for prostitution, strip clubs, pornography, etc. I believe people have the misconception that sex is a dirty act humanity engages in and this is one of our faults because it's not the act itself, but the way it is presented. Sex is a natural part of life, not a tool to be used. It is a privilige to have as human beings, but it is a privilege that I believe we have heavily taken for granted. In a world that perpetuates humiliation, incest, rape and infidelity among other unnatural things all for the sake of entertainment, how could we have not taken it for granted?

I don't know how many people will read this, but I do hope that this message will reach many. There may be fans of porn that come across this post and just might look the other way. I say this to you. If you have any kind of compassion within you, I humbly dare you to research any information about what goes on in porn behind the cameras. If this does make you want to know more start here with "Date My Porn Star". If you have NetFlix, they have documentaries on there as well. I recommend watching "After Porn Ends". I'm sharing these things because we as people need to realize that these are human beings, not consumer items to be used and thrown away once it is used up. These people are someone's mother, father, sister, brother, daughter or son. Porn only shows us a dolled up image, a persona, a "fantasy", something other than an actual person. What you could be looking at is violation of human rights on camera that is protected by the U.S. Constitution. Just take a minute before clicking your mouse to go to your favorite site and just really think about what you are contributing to. That is all I ask.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Letter to Cameron Bay


Hi, Cameron. I'm not sure if you will even get this message or if you'll be able to reply, but I'm just a regular guy who's been following your story the past couple of months. I'm not sure how much this means to you coming from someone you don't know, but I felt compelled to write to you. Seeing how you were being treated by an industry that profits from the misery of others (whether performer or watcher) really sickens me. Not to mention things that were said to you by active porn performers which I feel is way out of line. I used to be a compulsive porn watcher since I was 13 years old. I'm 28 now and only recently I was able to conquer my demons. It's been one hell of a struggle, but I've researched a lot of information about the industry and the harm it causes.
I was moved by your bravery to speak out and expose the things we don't see (and apparently what the industry desperately tries to keep hidden). Hopefully that has opened the eyes of people who are still under the illusion that porn is harmless. I believe it was the most beautiful and bravest thing for you to do and in turn shows how beautiful you really are inside as well as out.

I can't presume to know your reasons for entering the porn business, but what I do know is the value of a person's worth is 1000 times more than anything porn has to offer. As a man, I respect everything a woman brings to the table. I believe there's nothing more beautiful in this world than a woman and the way you all are portrayed in porn films doesn't do any justice to any of you beautiful creatures. Seeing many women having to alter their natural features just to portray an image that isn't real only hinders what a person is truly capable of. It doesn't exactly put men in a flattering light either. I'm sure there are male victims in the porn industry as well, but it does look like we perpetuate that facade callously.

I honestly don't know where I'm going with this letter. I guess I'm writing this because I just hate when bad things happen to good people. If it's happened to you then I know it's happening to someone else. What it comes down to is my inspiration by your continuous bravery. I really wish you nothing, but the best. I know I'm just a regular guy and you don't know me from a hole in the ground and I'm not even sure if I'd be the kind of guy you would hang out with or whatever. I guess I just want to prove that there are people out there who actually care when others would just pass you off as another statistic. I do hope this message gets to you and if you would like to reply that's great. I'm all about spreading positivity wherever I can even when it looks like there's no room for any. Hope you continue being the strong person I believe you are. Many blessings to you.

~FallenMarvel~